How Dating Really Works

Have you ever wondered why you were never able to truly show your feelings…

To your significant other at any point in time, unless it was the *right* moment in time?

Folks, everyone of us knows *exactly* what this means – and the unique thing is, we’ve all been on the receiving end of “love” that wasn’t given at a “proper” point in time…

Rendering the feeling a bit “uncomfortable” or “off beat” with the rhythm of the relationship.

There is always seemingly a barrier between you being able to express yourself in “vulnerability” – almost like you require the skillful ness of a musician to provide the tid-bits of “love” or whatever feeling it may be… in some context it may be tension to create a very highly sexually charged relationship.

But – none-the-less, this conversation brings one thing to bare.

WHY is it that we can not express ourselves, and provide love at any moment?

Now – within many sects of humanity – especially in the western culture, we’ve had many different subcultures actually form in response to the lack of “competency” in regards to being practitioners of love.

Some for reasons of being wholly heart broken by a woman or man of their dreams, and subsequently building a animosity for the other sex, in reaction of this pain… by remedying the pain to displace the other opposite sex to be at fault.

And… there is a portion of that idea that isn’t wrong.

We can see this by the men who participate in “The Red Pill” groups, and the females who participate with the idea that “all men are dogs” – and men are a especially disgusting manifestation of humanity.

But – at the end of the day, these expressions are all the same thing… just like when a child expresses contempt for a game that he or she may be completely incompetent at (and we’ve all been to witness a person who’s been upset because of a repeated loss).

There is a indicate of something here.

It bears to witness the connections to be made between the ideas of “being incompetent at a game” – and the anger that may brew from the incompetency at it.

But it presents a even deeper idea one of the nature of “love”.

And the topic of this article – Love.

For the vast majority of us, it is a game – but… most don’t realize this.

And that includes..

That one must build competency at, because just like a musician plays a piece of music, there must be specific points in time, where he injects his colorful melody to create a beautiful matrimony of sweet melodious tension, over the tone of a symphony of rhythm.

And… What this article is going to show you, is how love – in the current condition… for many of us is the same thing.

See – there is no such thing as “all women are like that”.

There is no such thing as “all men are dogs”.

There is no such thing as “she was bound to do it.”


There is such thing as “you played that wrong”.

There is such a thing as “you could have added in this “tone” – see in the context of dating… this “text message” as a better addition to the symphony of tensions and releases.

But first…

We will address one thing – why is love like this?

See – let’s understand one thing. Psychology – and let’s dig in.

Psychology of Love 101

Have you ever wondered why your mother loves you more than anyone else… Even your father?

Why the statement “your mother is the only person who truly loves you” is more true than you think?

See – love is game of connections – and let’s contextualize the love of a mother.

You were swimming around inside of her body for around ~40 weeks – you were in constant connection to her, to a point where you *shared blood with her*.

Folks – this connection you built with your mother was deep… and all of that was reinforced by the associations built and solidified when you finally were delivered, and placed on your mother’s chest post delivery.

All of the associations built via a deep connection of constantly sharing hormonal dependencies with each other, produced a eventual state of a deep imprint into her subconscious in the form of her now having a image to tie into her hormonal stimulus for the past 40 weeks.

And we see this play out by a first time mother being particularly highly interested in her first born…

But – here’s the kicker, we can tell this is a “gradient” type of hormonal play by the form of the way her behaviors alter as she has more children.

See – a woman that has her 8th child, is not going to produce the same type of hormonal imprint (with the same strength) as her 1st born…

Because – it is a hormonal gradient

It is the same idea at play, as say if you were doing drugs for the last 8 years.

The same concentration of drugs that got you high as hell the *first* time you did drugs… has nothing close to the same effect it has on you now… after 8 years of use.

The concentration amount to produce that “same feeling” – i.e. the same psychological imprinted outcome – is *different* – significantly.

So – with these connections, we can start to say… Human Love – as is most things… is a manufactured process of hormones, associations, and the overarching concept of psychology at play.

I.e. the same thing it’s always been – Pavlov’s Dogs.

So – let’s get some connections here – your mother was constantly secreting hormones in response to your existence, that made her feel a number of emotions she never felt before, throughout her pregnancy.

ALL to the degree she’s never felt before – I.e. some days she might feel extremely angry, for no reason at all…

Some days she might feel extremely blissful – for “no reason at all”.

Some days she might have felt something in between – but the point bears to witness, she was experiencing a wide array of emotions, and they were all imprinting in association to your existence within her uterus.

Creating a deeply imprinted association in her subconscious – to YOUR existence – and folks let’s get one thing straight.

Have you ever been emotional in reaction to a post on Facebook, and that emotion caused you to in some way become highly invested into the status – even if it was just to “gain some sort of satisfaction” – like for instance – you posted a comment to provide your 0.02 cents just to retrieve some bearing of relief of the tension you felt… by experiencing the status.

Now – for this go on – you must truly be honest with yourself – you probably became in some way emotionally aroused (angered, frustrated, happy, “sad”) – and then that caused you to engage with the post, by “liking” or even commenting… and the comprehensiveness of the comment was a degree of how much of a emotion it invoked out of you.

For instance… if it was a especially political post… on a topic you felt passionate about.. you might have provided an especially long comment – and then engaged in a debate.. until you “felt satisfied”.

Well – that is the same thing as the dog – the dog felt the stimulus of the bell – and then his primed reaction was to be prepared to eat – the salivation evidence of such – and then… the salivation ceased once the dog “was satisfied”.

Now let’s connect the dots here – the stimulus invoked a -response- out of the physiology of the dog – associating it within the subconscious to that stimulus – and the “relief” of the created tension (the anticipation of the food) – was reinforcing the imprint of the entire system.

Just like when you engage in political debates, the stimulus calls your “passion” program within you – and reinforces the entire structure at work – and then you go through the tension -until you receive the “validation” – and then…

Voila – tension ceased.

Now we can call the same system at play… but for the mother – and in regards to the love she may have.

And – this constant tension – this constant imprinting on her subconscious – was going on for 40 weeks, non-stop – at a *HIGH* magnitude of tension – I.e. a very very physical experience – very very VISERCAL experience – or anything in between.

And – let’s make one final connection here – this is the same experience you feel when you experience a great piece of music – the “tension” of the build up (in this case… a especially relatable system would be the build-up within a “dubstep” or house song – where the beat “drops”).

Building up tension… building up a imprinted experience that is more weighted within your subconscious until…

Boom – the tension is *released* once the chorus is reached… or in more tense moments – the beat *DROPS* – and then… the crowd goes wild.

This is the basic framework of all human experience – in terms of emotional attachments.

Now – Let’s get into Love…


Why you can’t tell your Significant Other – You love her.

So – if you’ve followed T&M on twitter – if you’ve done so for a bit, you’ve seen my stance against “The Red Pill”‘s postulation that…

Hypergamy – is a actual human construct.

And with that – I whole heartedly disagree.

See – Hypergamy is a concept that we are using to explain a program.

(And if you’re interested in the deeper framework at action here – especially in regards to applying it to business for profit, and you’re tired of being completely confused about how to execute your business – the #WeaponizedPsychologySystem course is designed to provide you a framework so you can make psychology work for you… and your business.. not against it. Found Here: WeaponizedPsychologySystem

And a program is just like the system that made the dog – Pavlov’s dog – salivate.

It is the result of a number of subconscious “imprints” enacting upon your experience… to the point where you associate the experiences to a certain reaction.

This is the same case in regards to “Hypergamy”.

Our conditioned response to always want something better… because of a number of things.

Have you ever looked out the window and said, “Man my neighbors are happy… I wonder what it would be like if I was living with them and instead of my *LAME* family”.

Well – you just executed Hypergamy.exe

Have you ever (as a man) looked at a guy, who was particularly muscular, and saw the attention he was able to conjure by his muscularity from women… and thought,” Shit, I wish I was that muscular”.

Well – you just executed Hypergamy.exe

See – the point I’m trying to make here is… Hypergamy is a construct built off the tension of seeing someone doing *better* than us – and…

Us wanting that.

Based on the tension we feel from the differentiation of our situation in relevance to there’s.

Hypergamy – isn’t real.

It’s not a “inborn system”.

Little girls aren’t born wanting rich men who are “sexy”.

Now they are born wanting something better… because they are aware enough to feel the tension of the differentiation of their experience in relevancy to someone who *THEY* perceive is doing better than them.


Hypergamy – is not real.

It is the culmination of a series of systems… building into one “grand” program.

That seeks to better one’s position… because of a system that’s been building since childhood. To seek better.

Remember the system that build the love inside your mother for you?

Take that same magnitude of reactibility – and apply it to anyone’s experience with them perceiving someone’s position to be better than there’s… over a series of their life.


Let’s get to the interaction of this – see when you are building a relationship to someone whose been constantly experiencing tension in relation to a number of imprints along their life… in relation to a number of different experiences – and you’re trying to date them.

You are effectively competing with their emotional bonds to all of these things.

To get them to “like you” means that you have to create more tension than the current systems at play within them.

I.e. this is why you hear responses from women who don’t particularly like you say… “I just don’t have time for anyone right now… I’m sorry.”.

What they are *actually* saying is… I don’t feel a strong enough reaction to you, and a strong enough tension from you, to seek to relief my tension… with a dating relationship with you.

My work provides more tension than you.

In men, we are constantly feeling tension in regards to the pressure to procreate, so when we see a woman giving us attention, that provides us with tension especially… if you haven’t ever received attention from a woman you find attractive before…

Thus – this creates a situation where a man seeks to relief that tension, with sex.

And then post sex… if the man hasn’t ever experienced the situation before – he will seek to carry on the situation… but in regards to the tension he receives.

See – everything is a game of tension.

And now – to answer the final point of this system – in regards to why you can’t tell your significant other you “love” them all the time is…

When you are past the point of “love” – I.e. the tension point – the “solo” of the song, “the breakdown” – the “drop” (if you think about the relationship being a “build up” to the moment where you tell each other… you love each other)…

You feel bliss for a good period of time – but… then it *dies* out.


Because would you enjoy a song that is just a constant chorus all day? You might.

But… can the same be said for everyone? See – everyone enjoys a good build up to a drop.

You can feel the pressure that builds in your subconscious when you are experiencing a great song.

But – some people can’t handle too much pressure – some people enjoy a very smooth build up, and don’t know how to handle too much pressure, thus, they will listen to music that has a very gradual build up – like Country Music – to feel the chorus, but not have too much tension throughout the song.

The same can be said about a relationship – everyone enjoys a “different” set of tension to go along with their relationship.

Some people enjoy a constant chorus – and these may be the people that constantly replay a certain song that they really enjoy – or watch a certain show that is just a constant flood of “feel good” content.

Some people may enjoy a dramatic build up (most people) – and they would like their “relief” to be rationed out at specific moments – like a well built song.

And the same can be said about a romantic relationship.

Some people want their love constantly rationed out – hence you will see a girl who is constantly desiring their significant other to ration out love to them…

And… some people have felt the significant tension of a piece of music, a show, or maybe a relationship – that has given them the subconscious imprint to weight a significant amount of tension with more value than others…

Thus – these women, or men, may only respect a significant other that hands out love at key moments – like a dramatic show… that releases the tension of the build up at key moments.

So – as you can tell – this is a very complicated concept in regards to the emotional systems and conditioning behind the behaviors.

That can’t just be summarized in “all women are like that” – because… it goes much deeper than that.

And – if you are interested in the full framework at work – once again – the WeaponizedPsychologySystem will provide that – and more… in regards to making a profit, building a relationship – or anything in regards to humans.

So – in conclusion – love… is a complicated thing – but only because… there is a lot of moving parts in our head.

And women give off a perception (men as well) that they are all the same… because in large part – the culture permeates to affect everyone in a particularly similar way – thus… producing a typically similar outcome in terms of the systems at play.

Something covered *deeply* in the WeaponizedPsychologySystem.

Something very important to understand… well – if you want to:



Have a Friends Group

Do anything in regards to Humans…


But – as always – T&M is a culture for awareness and mastery.

And – dating is a significant part of our lives – and mastery in that aspect is important as is anything.

So – this will be covered more so – and potentially will have a product (cheaper than all other products) focused towards it. (WeaponizedPsychologySystem does cover it completely as well as profiteering though)

But – as always.

Welcome to T&M.

Also — Dating With Clarity, the new book I wrote on Dating covers this topic deeply, and in a practical manner.

Giving YOU tools making changes to your dating life, with positive results.



(P.S. – if you want to understand psychology a little deeper, but you’re not ready for the WeaponizedPsychologySystem – I recommend you visit the Incentives article – and read up on the other content found with… to develop a high level understanding.)

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